Back in the summer of 2009, just around this time, I surrendered to my fear, the fear that held me back and kept me stuck in the elemental ooze of doubt and worry. I recognized who I was--a burned-out workaholic English as a Second Language teacher dreaming of being an artist. I acknowledged that because I had created this way of being, I could also go to the roots, the source, and make a new way of being--based on NOTHING.
The word NOTHING has power and magic in it! From ZERO, or even the absence of ZERO, anything and EVERYTHING is possible. Using my active imagination with the assistance of my creativity coach, Lesly Fredman, I imagined the following scenario:
I see my gigantic self ROOTED in the muck of my existence--over worked, stressed out, unhappy, and fearful of striving for fulfillment as an artist. My tree-root legs are submerged in a primordial ooze, and I am surrounded by dark waters of a deep ancient lake. Lesly, a miniscule figure, appears on the lake in a tiny row boat and her human voice from far below me asks, "Do you want FREEDOM?" (pause to reflect)
REFLECTION on the question, "Do you want FREEDOM?"
It is of my opinion and experience that change, even change for the good, is often difficult to enact. We all want FREEDOM from pain, FREEDOM to grow, and FREEDOM to BE what we want. Yet, in some way, we are attached to the familiarity of pain and agony. We know how to function or dis-function in that mucky, icky existence. Besides, we ask, "What changes do I make? And what if the changes are worse than the current situation?" (continue to active imagination scenario)
Do I want FREEDOM? I hesitated. I knew I wanted something else but what and how? Yes, I wanted FREEDOM. Yes, I desired a new way of BEING based on nothing, but I had to deal with the ROOTS of pain and agony anchoring me in the familiar ooze! What could the remedy be?
Using active imagination along with me, Lesly calls in the MUD ROBOTS. They materialize from the river banks like huge TRANSFORMERS and dive down to cut me FREE from the old way of BEING. Surprise! The process of severing the roots tickles! Then I begin floating! Buoyant that I am no longer a giantess but am Lesly's size, I climb into her rescue boat tired but joyous! Cold and shivering, I swaddle myself in a blanket like a newborn baby. The boat moves effortlessly through the waters. (end of active imagination)
WHENEVER! |
CONCLUSIONS ON THE ROOTS OF BEING
To BE and BECOME the SOUL you want to BE, you need to fully experience WHO you ARE now. Go to the ROOTS of your BEING. Who are you? What is preventing you from harvesting the ripe apples from your tree of life?
In order for me to make significant life changes, I had to fully accept my long-lived stuckness. I relaxed into being "stuck amuck," by visualizing myself as a giantess deeply rooted and immovable.
Once you know and accept who you ARE, revel in it because you are bidding that old self good-bye. After farewells to the old way of being, begin the alchemical process of transformation! Use your active imagination to create scenarios that will LIBERATE you and prepare you for the SOUL WORK you want to do.
The JOURNEY of a SPIRITUAL ART PILGRIM takes time--a LIFE TIME. I encourage and support your JOURNEY dear fellow SOJOURNER. Share your ROOTS of BEING with me by SOUL BLOGGING at Coffee with Hallelujah!
I am
FREE
FLOATING
UPROOTED and
ROOTING for HALLELUJAH TRUTH!
Thanks for sharing your active imagining with Lesly. Your post reminds me of a phone conversation I had this week with a fabric artist named Judith Reilly here in Vermont. I called to meet her this weekend when she has gallery hours in her home studio. She started as a quilter and has dropped that term because of the geometric patchwork granny baggage.
ReplyDeleteShe lists 12 life lessons for creativity on her website that she and I discussed. http://www.judithreilly.com/creativity/