Thursday, December 12, 2013

REVERB13 ( DAY #12): Saying good-bye to muddied relationships and being an engineer

HALLELUJAH FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MUDDIED RELATIONSHIPS. I'm celebrating the transformation that comes from letting go of relationships no longer functioning! (Art by Hallelujah Truth)
Hallelujah for the muddied and unclear experiences in our lives. Yes! Why? Read on...

Today's writing prompt from Kat McNally's REVERB13 (Day 12) is this: 
Identify something muddy that kept recurring for you throughout 2013, and then ask yourself this: What's the clear truth underneath this mud if I finally wash myself clean?

Yes, dear Pilgrims, there is the messiness of some thing, relationship, act, or hope that is degrading, disassembling, and falling to pieces. Yet, in this "muddied" state, there is the heating up, the composting at the center. If we allow ourselves, we can WITNESS a TRANSFORMATION, like a burst of flames.
BURST OF FLAMES


The MUD I found myself composting in 2013 was a heap of relationships that lacked GRACE. No matter what action I took or words I said inside of these friendships made any difference. The relationships were MUD, and I believe this perception of MUDDINESS was mutually shared by all of us. 

In the past, I would I would have lingered longer with these friends trying to engineer a solution to "clean" things up, bring us good cheer, and ensure future well-being to us all. At least that's what I BELIEVED I could do.

In 2013, I practiced SAYING GOOD-BYE to MUDDIED relationships, walking away from them, leaving them rich in scraps from the good times, heaped in the leftovers from the garden at the end of a good growing season. No more wrestling with making something grow that needs to be left on its own--to compost and become something else for another time.

I feel sad about the loss of these friendships as I write this but resolved. Our lives can be filled with the magic of TRANSFORMATION if we allow them to be. Perhaps the clarity I have after being MUDDIED in these relationships is this: 

I'm giving up being an engineer, artificially structuring and restructuring muddied relationships. I'm becoming something more like an organic gardener in relationships--a big believer in seasonality, weeding, resting, and composting.
LOOKING FOR TRANSFORMATION, GROWTH

Who knows what will grow relationship-wise from this new resolve?

That's Coffee with Hallelujah! SOUL BLOG with me and tell me about the muddiness you've gone through in 2013 to reach some new clarity.

10 comments:

  1. Reading this was such s good lesson for me. I truly believe that we must go through these relationship changes in order to grow. We cultivate the good experiences and relationships we enjoy so we can weed out the bad, negative and unpleasant. Other wise our garden of life would stagnate, become over run with mundane, unimportant dishonest and boring relationships. A great blog on muddy relationships.

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  2. Thanks Darlene for expanding on this theme of tending to our relationships as if they were seasonal gardens. The idea is solidifying for me now. It is easier to accept lost relationships this way.

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  3. Love the blog - so much wisdom here! Love the picture too! It has the feel of going with the flow of life.

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    1. Christine, you and I are on the same page! After having read your response to this Reverb13 prompt, I see that we are both struggling with the "change" in a friendship (s). Wish you luck in bringing salve to yours. Here's to the flow!

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  4. I love this! So well written! Relationships that lack grace - what a great phrase! Your blog just gave me the courage to cut off some ties that I feel are muddying up my personal state right now. I've pondered them for a long time, but am a little frightened of their fall-out. But thing is, I've fallen out with them, and fallen back in with myself.
    Thank you for the nudge!

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    1. Mehnaz, thank you so much for telling me how this blog entry on ending muddied relationships impacted you. For me, this is what I call SOUL BLOGGING! You in turn reinforce my thoughts and ideas. The term "grace" is something I have learned to use from the book, What the Body Wants, by Cynthia Winton-Henry and Phil Porter. They actually talk about finding what brings you grace and pursuing that grace. The people that bring us grace, are our grace makers. Look for those gracemakers...Glad to know you have fallen back in with yourself.

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  5. I like your post. It is close to the relationship and sentiments. I like your suggestion in the post for relations. It is easier to accept lost relationships this way. A single relation gives all the moments and feelings of life. And it will be very hurtful If relation get in bad time and moments.

    Regards,
    Kopi Luwak

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    1. Glan Deas, I am so glad that my writing meant something to you.

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  6. Good on you for cleansing your relationships! It sounds like you took your energy back and focused it on what you do best i.e. make beautiful vibrant art of your life. x

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    1. Dear Kat, it has been a year of learning how to cleanse. Thanks to your REVERB13, I have had the opportunity to "forge" this understanding of the "release" of these friends. It has been muddy, but writing helps bring clarity, so thank you. I appreciate your kind words regarding my art.

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