YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS!: Seeking the meaning of this exclamation

TELLING MY "UNGRATITUDE" STORY.  Here I am taking out all those negative remarks out of my body spirit during our premier performance of the Soulprint Players on Sunday, November 16th, 2014, at the Mask Center in Little Five Points Community Center, Atlanta, Georgia. The theme was gratitude in its entire spectrum, including the opposite. (all photos by Dean Hesse)

"YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS!" a fellow InterPlayer proclaimed to me after our first performance a week ago here in Atlanta. We had just finished our debut as the newly minted Soulprint Players improvising on the topics our audience had given us related to the theme of gratitude. 

Hallelujah for COURAGE! But what does it mean? What exactly is COURAGE?

I thanked my fellow InterPlayer for his remark and then was drawn away by the celebratory hugs and remarks of other InterPlay performers. But his remark nagged at me, harkening me back to the many times viewers of my artwork at an exhibit had exhorted the same remark:

YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS!

GESTURE CHOIR ON "GROWING OLD".  Here I am (second from the left) supporting Atlanta InterPlayer Gerry Cook (far right) as he tells his story about "growing old." It felt tremendously freeing to let my body wisdom imitate his movements. I practiced "easy focus" and followed Gerry. He succeeded in telling his entire story through movement without words. How interesting! How courageous!

Part of my discomfort at this proclamation emitted by those who SEE me and my work is that their remark about my courage does not feel complimentary. No. 

The phrase, "YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS!" exists in another category of social discourse, something other than a gift of praise or an acknowledgment of an accomplishment. Their remark, instead, appears to be a hidden REVELATION about themselves. But what is that revelation? 

Let's try some meanings on:

I would never paint or exhibit an image that is so raw.
I would not be open to expressing such personal content in a painting or performance.
I would not show pain or confusion to the public in an art form.
Exhibiting one's emotional life in performance unskillfully would be embarrassing to me.
I believe I would not present myself to the public unless my dance, song, art was perfect.

SHAPE AND STILLNESS ON BEHALF OF LAUGHTER. Imagine your fellow performers deciding to laugh uncontrollably while creating shape and stillness on behalf of laughter. "What should I do," I asked myself, struggling with what my body spirit wanted to do and how I wanted to follow my fellow Soulprint Players in what they were doing. I hit the ground laughing...ecstatically following!

Well, with all the courage I could muster, I returned to the InterPlayer who had pronounced me "SO COURAGEOUS" and asked him what he meant by this exclamation. That's a first for me. Previously in other creative arenas, I had somehow felt ashamed for not eliciting more noteworthy praise around the outcome of my creative efforts.

We had a brief but meaningful exchange. He told me that he admired me for being authentic in a way that he strives to be. He felt that I know who I am and that I state that knowledge honestly and unafraid. And, yes, his remark, YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS seemed to be more about him than it was about me. 

Or, it just might be, YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS is a statement about us both in relation to one another. After all, we exist in a world of "I am's" and "You are's."  A lot more could be said on this topic!

I FORGOT TO HAVE BABIES.  Telling a side by side story about gratitude for "babies" with two other women who are mothers. "I forgot to have babies," my story began. I was able to tell my authentic story about NOT having babies and the sadness it brings me some times. How cathartic! How authentic? How courageous?

These days the word "authenticity" is getting a bad rap for being a buzz word and resulting in anything but what the word means (see a previous blog that I wrote about authenticity). For now, I will say YES. I AM COURAGEOUS. I am authentic. THANK YOU! InterPlay is providing another way for me to experience and expand this courage.

I hope I can support all of you pilgirmins you in your own courageous journeys towards authenticity. Hallellujah!

That's Coffee with Hallelujah! SOUL BLOG with me about your understanding of YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS! I want to know! Please share!

Other Hallelujah Your Truth Blogs about Courage

Couraging: Speaking Heart

I Speak Heart

Hallelujah Truth Blogs about Authenticity
The Authenticity of Creating Life with the Joyful Ease of a Cat Napping

The Ongoing Journey to the Authentic Self

Blasting off to your own truthiness